Divine Mercy Sunday/Second Sunday of Easter/Quasimodo Sunday (look at the Introit for the Ordinary and Extraordinary Form Masses)
I apologize for not having posted in a while. I have been a bit busy with things and I have been trying to cut down on computer use (that was a lie). Honestly, I have been too lazy to think of posts. Actually, I have had ideas … it’s just in execution where I can BSOD (blue screen of death) and cause a severe system failure. Regular mental defrags and disk clean-ups via prayer and silence are indispensable.
Also, my hypothesis about the number of persons who read this blog were confirmed. A whole THREE people voted! Holy Mother Church! That’s three times more than I anticipated. I did get some feedback on Facebook so that helped. This is the one I decided on and I am absolutely chomping at the bit to get it!
I was originally looking for a black one but all my feedback was aiming at one that was not. Heck, one of my dear Lutheran friends even said I would look like a woman from the 1850s. One of my dear friends since grade school said that I would look like I was mourning my dead husband. My ever so fashion savvy sister recommended it because it would complement my hair color and it may even make my skin have the appearance of having some color.
Yes, I am pale. I got the Polish skin color genes. My sister got the Italian.
The funny thing is that my aversion to sun exposure (I don’t tan … I sear … then my skin gets a bit of color) has caused me (and this is the observation of others, not me) to have the appearance of a younger girl. I get carded up the wazoo because people think I am fifteen. Hello, twenty-four going on twenty-five here! 🙂 People ask how I stay so young-looking … I say I have a portrait in my old schoolroom that bears the brunt of my age and life of dissipation. Usually the “Picture of Dorian Gray” reference is lost but it amuses me so w/e.
To be honest, I have been wanting to veil for a long time. It was one of the things toward which I was looking forward most during my time in preparation for investiture. I was looking forward to donning the veil. I have always wanted to wear one. I think it means so much. I think it’s such a beautiful privilege for women. I think it’s a tradition that should be honored.
I wore one in college all the time (I had a black one and a blue one … still have the latter one … can’t find the former) whenever I would go into chapel or go to Mass at my dear Polish parish or when we would go for our late night trips to the Adoration chapel at said parish.
When I was up in GRap, I could be anonymous, not many people knew me so if I walked in donning a mantilla, it would be no big deal. Once I moved back home after graduation and when I was home for breaks, I would not because I could not be anonymous … I was “Ms. Allie” and I was afraid of attracting undue or negative attention to myself. That’s the very last thing an ISTJ like me wants. I hate having attention aimed at me.
Whenever I would be home (and now) I would walk into church and ask to borrow one of Our Lady’s veils to cover my head spiritually. I have to admit that my reticence to wear my veil to my parish is rooted in my “fear” of being rebuked. My “fear” of drawing too much attention to myself. My “fear” of being seen as “holier-than-thou.” That last one could not be further from the truth. It is for the very reason of my unworthiness that I wish to don a veil.
I don’t see veiling as some antiquated practice that is being revived by rigid traditionalists who want to bring women back under their oppressive control. I don’t consider it backwards. I don’t consider it contrary to the direction the Church is going. I don’t see it as being submissive or subservient in the bad senses of the word. I don’t see it as a selfish way of proclaiming one’s personal holiness.
Like I told one person who asked why I would want to and how they hoped I did not, how would this be any different from my being in habit except that this would be a personal choice of my own? How can a piece of Chantilly lace be so horrible? So polarizing.
I am the last person in the world who would promote the compulsory wearing of veils or head coverings for women. That’s a personal choice or preference. Besides, in my experience at church, women’s heads are the last thing we need to worry about covering. We should work on covering our shoulders, midriffs, decolletage, and making sure our skirts and pants are long enough to not be TMI moments of sin. Seriously ladies, no one wants to see the cleft of your rear from any angle … let alone at church. Oh, and shoes. I hate the sound of flip-flops at Mass.
But I digress.
I am “afraid” to don my veil because of selfish fear of retribution or misunderstanding. I am not doing it to call attention to myself or to be a conversation piece. I am doing it to show respect for the Lord’s presence. The Church was not founded in 1965 nor did her traditions start in the last thirty some odd years.
I think I might wear my veil at weekday Masses and then ease into weekend Mass. I already know a few people who are going to poo-poo it (I am smirking as I write this) and roll their eyes or say something against it but then I will just pull the nun card and ask “how would this in theory be any different from my donning the veil as part of a habit? The only difference is that the habit comes with a vocation, this is a personal practice and preference.” Of course, I will say that if I end up a consecrated virgin, I will veil at all times I am in church or in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament.
There must be a reason God has planted this in my heart. I am sick of ignoring it out of petty selfish fear. Though it is still very much there. I guess I just need to pray about it and go from there. I am just sad that there will be people who either will not understand and judge me or not want to understand and stereotype me. But what happens to me does not really matter. Christ ought to be at the center of everything. Not the self.
Please, do post your thoughts on veiling, I can see how it could be controversial but I can also see how the controversy is just misused energy that could be aimed at something more important like combating rampant liturgical abuses and theological bull crap.
Well, I have an appointment tomorrow that has been on the books for two weeks and have I written my notes for it? Heck no! I was going to do so tonight but, meh, I will do it tomorrow … I will be at church all morning … bound to find time then.
Have a blessed evening!