Laudetur Iesus Christus!
Nunc et in aeternum! Amen.
Memorial of Saint Henry
I decided I wanted to take a break from my studying for the GRE and blog a bit. If you think of it, please pray for me tomorrow as I shall be taking that blessed test for 4.5 hours tomorrow afternoon. Laudetur Iesus Christus, that SHMS does not look at the quantitative reasoning section. I have a tendency to really choke on that section. Math and I have never been friends though I did get As and such through high school and college. It must be the “testing thing.” I’ve been focusing on the vocab since there have been a goodly amount of random words whose definitions I do not know but never fear, that’s why they have fun vocab games just for poor souls like me who are nerdy enough to actually search teh Interwebz for GRE vocab quizzes.
Anywho, if you could do that, that would be great. Grazie mille in advance.
So yeah, about the title, it is a true statement. No amount of eyelash-batting, puppy dog eyes, “pretty pretty pretty please” (no matter how much sugar or cherries you put on top) will ever be able to sway the Lord to go against what He truly wants for us though we may not think it will help us. You know, God forbid we trust Him, right? We all have God complexes. Some just have them more pronounced than others.
I never thought I would ever post that kind of picture on my blog. Well, it could be worse. I could really layer on the kitsch with something like this …
All right, that’s enough of that nonsense. It is Friday. Chalk it up as your penance. I have another one but I’ll save it ’til the end. *impish lolz*
You really cannot bribe the Lord. You can earnestly entreat all you want but if it is not according to His will which, in the end, will always come out for the better for you (God does know what is best for us after all), don’t count on it.
The best thing you can do is put yourself completely in His hands through Our Lady.
I have tried to do that and Lord knows I fail more often than I ought; I think I can do things on my own without help but then I end up doing several hearty *facepalms* of “Srsly?”
And trusting the Lord is not necessarily easy especially when it seems that all odds are against you. But you have to trust anyway. He will always provide, both in the great ways and in the small ways.
Though sometimes, I admit, I will still try to “sweeten the pot” for Him.
Example: Besides all the praying and praying and, oh yeah, praying I have been doing asking the Lord to help me accomplish all the things I need to get done in preparation for grad school (the major major thing being that blessed road test), I also promised the Lord that if He allowed all to work out, I would attend more TLMs and be more faithful to my prayer and more dedicated to Him and His Church (I waver more times than I dare admit).
To me, it’s a win-win situation. Not that He needs me for anything. He, being God, is in no way contingent on anything about me, or any other aspect of His creation for that matter, for His existence or His happiness.
The very fact that I exist, that you or anyone exists, is because He wants me to be, He wills me to be, not because He needs me to be. Every moment of my existence is solely based on His benevolence, His love, and His willing it be so. If at any moment He did not will for me to be, I would cease to exist. I am sustained at every moment by His love. Isn’t that beautiful? He doesn’t need to do that but He wants to because He loves me totally, uniquely, and individually.
I like to think that every morning I wake up, it means that the Lord has something for me to do that I have yet to accomplish and that every day is a new opportunity to discern and accomplish it.
But anyway, I did make that promise to Him and I intend, with all sincere intention and by His graceful Providence, to fulfill it to the best of my ability. I did not make that promise to Him lightly.
It’s like the other private promises I have made Him. They are not to “butter up” the Lord but rather to help me grow in perfection and to deepen my relationship with Him.
It can be so hard to just trust. It’s nothing on God’s side. It’s all on me. It’s a part of human frailty and pride due to sin. I want to think that I can do things on my own just fine thankyouverymuch but really, anything I do is rooted in and sustained by the grace and Providence of God. It takes humility to realize that and embrace that virtue because only then will I be able to really truly do what the Lord has planned for me which is beyond anything my mind or heart could fathom on its own.
Though there is a perk to that.
If I do end up marrying Christ (pleeez, Lord), if I ever have problems, I will know it’s me. Not Him. Not that I have to be His Spouse for that to be the reality. It already is.
All right, I have to get a little bit more studying under my scapular. I am going to ask good Saint Michael and my guardian angel to keep the demons of second-guessing and hyperanalysis away from me and my mind. Those are the last things I need taking this blessed test. When it’s done, Imma pray a Te Deum because it will be a joyful moment of relief because then one more thing will be checked off my list of things to do before 15 August and before I start grad school in September.
I only have a couple more things to do and, trusting in the Lord and His Providence, they will be done on His time, not mine. Patience and trust. Trust and patience. I need to ask the Lord to allow me to grow in it and be open to growth in it. Openness is key to any growth in relationship with the Lord.
Okie dokie, before I go, here’s that other picture I promised. It makes my lol.
Off to the vocab study sites, then Compline (already prayed Vespers), and then bed. Going to Mass in the morning and then I have to be at the testing center at 1:30 for my 2:00 test. Then I shan’t be out until about 6:30ish. Hopefully it will go by quickly and relatively painlessly.
Have a nice night!